April 28, 2010 § Leave a comment

Sitting. Just sitting. Sitting and staring out the window. So I guess that’s not just sitting. Sitting, staring out the window and thinking. Sitting, staring out the window and thinking about all that has been passing me by lately. Or that I have been passing by.

A fleeting glance from an acquaintance that, if I’d taken the time might have been the beginning of an actual friendship.

The realization that I didn’t know someone quite like I thought I had, that they’re far more intentional, spiritual and talented than I had thought.

This happens to me now and then; I suddenly realize that I’ve been flitting from one thing to the next. Hopping. Like a smooth stone across the surface of a pond, lightly skimming across the surface of life before I’m off to the next thing. Never realizing the depth of the water below.

And then I vow it will be different. It won’t.

It might be.

It might be for a time. And maybe that’s all that’s required. Maybe my whole life doesn’t need to change this instant, and maybe I don’t need to get so down on myself. The truth is that there may not be something fundamentally wrong (or even unique) about how I go on with life, but I do need a reset now and again. Each time I get reset I can examine life with new eyes, slow down, see, experience. But maybe the resets need to be a little more frequent.

Now that would be an interesting thing to ask for.

“God, I could do with a few more resets.”

Ooh, that’s just asking to be messed up. That is just inviting God to come in, and get crazy.

Where Am I?

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